Sunday, October 25, 2009

WORD POWER

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY


ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE


THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

The Pastor's Ass

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he
entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read...

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

His Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that
he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered
the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she
would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold
it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered
the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the
plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas, the Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY?
Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief
and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself, take
care of your ass, and enjoy life, stop worrying about everyone else's
ass and you'll live longer and be a lot happier!

Friday, October 23, 2009

How to make a bomb in three easy steps?

How to make a bomb in three easy steps.


1. Open up Microsoft Word

2. Change font type to "Wingdings"

3. Type "M" (capital "m")

Voila! the bomb should like like this:

M